Women have that God given talent of just knowing (most of the time) what is best for them and their children. Intuition is such a strong and wonderful thing. However, lately mine has been working against me.
Once again, I am a victim of post partum depression. This is an awful disease, and I thank God for knowledgeable Doctors and good friends that help me get treatment for it. Knowing that I am fighting this invisible fiend helps me in many situations.
This being said, I can't trust my intuition any more. And it's a terrible feeling. It's like finding out your best friend has been lying to you for months. And that is exactly what my post partum tells me: LIES!
It tells me I can't let my kids sleep in their own rooms, because a fire might happen in the middle of the night and I won't be able to rescue them. Or it tells me that if we leave the house today we'll be in an unspeakable car accident that will leave me without one or all of my family. LIES! All of them are lies!
One day, I'll be able to trust my intuition again. And I'll be thankful for it, but for now it has become my enemy. An enemy I cannot escape. An enemy that lives inside my head. God is helping me through friends, family, Doctors and medication to overcome this enemy, but for now I must be wary and not believe the lies.
I'm sorry if this post depressed any of you. I just have had this on my mind and needed to share. I'll be back to my more light hearted self soon..... I hope! =)
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