Wednesday, June 6, 2012

A Personal Triumph

How do you all like the new background?  I thought it was appropriate for summer =). 

Ok, so now onto the explanation of my personal triumph!  As we all know I struggle with post partum depression and anxiety.  I don't invite people to my house.  I just don't.  I feel like I'm being judged while they're here.  (Yes, even by family that I know isn't here to see my house they're here to see me- words of my Mama.)  I just can't help it.  I get nervous, and feel like my house isn't clean enough, or decorated well enough etc. etc. 

In my head I know it's ridiculous.  My house is not a pig sty by any stretch of the imagination.  It IS lived in.  I have 2 kiddos and my house shows it, but I try to keep things picked up and I do thorough cleaning at least once a week, if not more.  Ok, I'm done defending my cleaning habits hahaha! 

Back to the story.  Anyway, this last weekend I invited people over!  So it was just Ms. L, her hubby, their 2 kids, my Mama and Daddy, my older bro, his wife and their 2 kids.  It was a house full, and miraculously I had not one iota of anxiety!  It was wonderful!  I felt comfortable, and nothing like I was being judged.  It was fantastic! 

It's a small step, but one I'm proud of!  Now, I'm not saying I'm going to be hosting any tupperware parties or anything like that any time soon, but it does mean that maybe, just maybe I can start slowly getting back into my old self.  I've missed her, and my journey back will be long, but hopefully I'll get there one day!

Hope you all have a great day!

Ms. T

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