Tuesday, February 23, 2016

A Horse Side Car

Yesterday, my younger brother, Mr. Ham, and I were discussing a certain vehicle.  This was our conversation:

Ham: That car is worthless
Me: It's not that bad.  It actually drives pretty nicely and it gets great gas mileage.
H: If you're that desperate for good gas mileage, get a horse.
M: (Laughing) What?  That doesn't make any sense!  A _____ can carry at least 3 if not 4 people.  A horse can't carry more than 2 at most.
H: Eh, just get a horse side car.
M: (Laughing harder) Okay, so that makes it be able to sit 2 what are the kids gonna sit on my lap?
H:(Chuckling) Nah, build a side car for each side of the horse.
M: (Still laughing) Hmmm, so it would stabilize a horse.  Ohhh, I could save money and get a horse that is perpetually drunk (because, obviously no one is going to want a drunk horse) and the side cars could keep him from falling over!  Wow, what a money saver!

By the end of our conversation Ham and I were in full on hysterics.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen this is a normal conversation in my family.  Our conversations may not go exactly like that every time, they could have different content, but the goofiness is a constant.

Have a great day!
Ms. T

 




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Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Heart Attack for Valentine's Day

On Sunday, the munchkins and I decorated cookies to take to the neighbors.  After we finished we delivered our delicious bundles.  The first neighbor we visited not only received a plate of cookies, but also a heart attack.  

The first neighbor we visited had her door opened about an inch, when Sweet pea, in her excitement for our mission, pushed the door open and yelled, "HAPPY VALENTIMES DAY!!" (Yes, my munchkins pronounce it 'ValentiMes' with an M not an N.)  The poor lady had a very shocked expression on her face.  Once she realized we weren't there to kill her with a plate of cookies she smiled and thanked us and things were back to normal.  I still feel badly that for Valentines day we delivered a heart attack.

Have a great day!
Ms. T 




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Thursday, February 11, 2016

Bird Church

When I was a kid whenever we would pass a telephone wire with a lot of birds on it we would point out that the birds were having church.  I'm not really sure why we did that.  Anyway, it's what we did.  This silly little practice has carried over into my adult life.  I may not always voice it, but when I see a bunch of birds sitting on a wire I think, "oh look, those birds are having church."  You must understand though that this only applies to birds that are sitting on a telephone wire.  If it is a bunch of birds in a parking lot, or on the roof of a building or wherever else they're obviously just a bunch of birds.

Anyway, my munchkins have picked up on the saying.  Now, whenever Sweet Pea sees more than one or two birds sitting on a telephone wire she points out the "bird church".  The other day we were driving and Sweet Pea pointed out 3 or so birds and called it a bird church.  The Hubs looked up and said, "In my opinion that looks more like a bird Bible study.  There aren't enough to really be called a church."  This really cracked me up!  

I hope this brought a little smile to your face like it did mine.

Have a great day!
Ms. T 




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Thursday, February 4, 2016

Night Time Invaders

I have started a bad practice.  When the kids come in my room at night because they're scared or really for whatever reason, I just let them get in bed with me for "a few minutes".  Sometimes I stay awake long enough to pray with them and then send them back to their room.  Other times I drift back off into wondrously peaceful sleep.  Well, the munchkins have gotten really bad about wanting to come into my room in the middle of the night now. (I realize this is my own fault.  Note the beginning of the paragraph.)

Last night, as they were off to bed I told them they were to stay in their own rooms.  Well, wanna guess what happened about 4:30 am?  Yeppers, a sweet little blond haired, blue eyed girl got into my bed.  This time she didn't even wake me up!  I discovered her when I went to roll over.  Apparently, she hadn't been there long though.  When I noticed her I told her she needed to go back to her bed.  She got all sad and said, "but, Mommy, I want to cuddle you." (these are words I love to hear, but not at 4:30 am.)  I reminded her that before they went to bed they were told to stay in their rooms.  She repeated her statement.  To be honest, I nearly caved.  However, I stuck to my guns and made her go back to her room.  Score 1 for Mommy!  Unfortunately, it still took me about an hour to go back to sleep.  Which really sucked for two reasons.  1. I had a lot of trouble actually getting to sleep and didn't drift off til sometime after 12:30.  2.  Then of course not being able to go back to sleep for an hour (putting the time at 5:30) and I had to get up at 6!  I know, sucko right?

We shall see how long my victory lasts.  And to be honest after awhile, I probably will allow them to get back in bed with me for "a few minutes" again after their nightly appearances have backed off. (I know I'm a terrible mother to allow such things- please note the sarcasm.  This is obviously not the worst thing in the world.) I don't mind a time or two, but every night is getting exhausting.

Have a good day, my friends, and pray for me that I will be able to get through the day without falling asleep on my students! 




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Tuesday, February 2, 2016

You Might Be a Parent If...

You might be a parent if:

* You have ever taken the entire contents of your house with you in a diaper bag.

* You have ever voluntarily carried another human's waste around with you.

* You have ever thrown an entire baby outfit away, because the poop explosion was so bad.

* You open your mouth and your Mother (or Father)'s words come out.

* You see a child in the store kicking and screaming and instead of judging the parent you say in a very quiet voice in your child's ear, "you had better NEVER act that way".

* You realize that most of the things you did when you were younger are things you would punish your child if they did.   

* It is socially acceptable for you to look down another person's pants in public. (checking for poo)  

* Hearing someone say "I love you" never fails to turn you into a pile of mush.

*You have ever nearly electrocuted yourself by sticking a metal object behind one of the socket covers trying to get that buger out (those things are RIDICULOUS!  Can I get an Amen?!)

* You have ever been going through your purse and found a pair of kid's underwear in there and not been surprised at all.

* You have ever been going through your purse and not been shocked to find a car/ barbie/ army guy floating around in there with your wallet.

* You have ever stepped on a lego.

* You have ever made up your own version of cuss words.  Ex. "Oh, Punch a Duck!" or "You ID-10 (ten)- T!"

* You have ever tried to explain what sarcasm is to a 6 year old that just heard you say, "oh, you're just a real treat aren't you?!" about another driver.

*You know what 'hanitizer' is.

* Every time you see an airplane you point it out.

* You hear screaming come from another room and you don't automatically going running towards it.  Instead you yell something like, "stop fighting!"


Have a great day!
Ms. T
  


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