Dying From Embarrassment. . . Or Laughter

My friend, Ms. L, has a humorous story for us about her son, The Boy.  I just love this family!!!  Take it away, Ms. L!

So, if there is one thing you must know about me as a momma, it is that I strive to have well behaved kids.  We work on manners, politeness, obedience, emotion/anger control, etc. on a regular basis.  My children think that the "S" word is the word stupid.  The "F" word is the word fat.  We do not talk about certain things in public.  There are some things we don't even talk about in the privacy of our own home, unless our kids are asking a sincere question about them. 

After 7 years of working to ensure that my children don't embarrass me, I almost fell out of my chair when The Boy came home from school on Monday. 

As usual, I look through The Boy's bookbag as soon as we get home from school.  I check our agenda, his teacher's comments on his behavior, our homework list, and any returned papers from school.  I love looking at my son's work.  Sometimes he just amazes me with the thought processes and creativity he puts into his school work. 

He is known as the funny kid in class, a title that we are very proud of.  However, this time, I am certain he wasn't trying to be funny.  He doesn't even know what these words mean, but somehow they ended up on the paper.  The assignment was to write sentences using words the teacher gave them.  She gave five words, and three of them were Today, Nut, and Black. 

Here are The Boy's sentences:

1) Today is Mrs. Oates' Bra Day. 
Translated to read "Today is Mrs. Oates' Birthday."
I mean, if my translation is wrong, I am glad that it was her Bra Day and not her Non-Bra Day. 

2) The nuts is blue.
Why, oh why, son, must you have made the nuts blue?  Couldn't they have been any other color?  We don't even refer to body parts using slang terms in our house, so I know that he is thinking of literal nuts, but why?  Why  must they be blue?

3) This color is piss black.
Translated by Mrs. Oates to read "This color is pitch black."
Oh my goodness?  We don't even use this word.  He doesn't even know that this word exists, much less what it means.  Oi-vey! 

So, three of our five sentences were sentences that made my face flush with embarrassment.  I now have to try to redeem my parenting qualities to our teacher.   I can't even imagine how she managed to read those sentences without falling out in the floor.  I think it's incredibly funny, but only because I know how innocent it is.  She may be of a different opinion. 

This is one paper that will be saved to torment him with when he is much much older and can understand the humor.

Have a great day!

Ms. L





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